Saturday, December 21, 2013

Of Ducks and Dumbfuckness

As an answer to the entreaties to give "Duck Dynasty" a chance and re-assess the show patriarch's clown-hood: until a week ago, I had never seen the show. But, since this nasty cold I've been fighting all December left me with some unexpected viewing time that coincided with the uproar, I tried watching a few episodes.

Just my opinion, and maybe I just watched a couple of bad episodes, but it's a crappy show and a waste of my time. It's obviously staged and poorly executed. Mildly humorous, pandering junk designed to make other inbreds feel good about their chromosome shortage. 


In other words, just a typical "reality" show. The fact it pivots on some swamp tick who looks like the spawn of Minnie Pearl and Ezekiel the Prophet, and growls, stomps, and slobbers like a mean, ol' pecker-wood, is a novelty I can do without, but I can see the marketing appeal. 


Hell, I can see the "entertaining" aspect of the show...nothing more fun than watching a good ol' monkey shit-fight at the zoo.


But, yeah...the guy's a clown. A performer. A comedic actor.


He dresses up in his costume and performs for the camera. It puts money in his pocket. More power to him. I never said he was an idiot. There is no truth in that; he may have mentally-paralytic compliance bias, but he's not a fool. Just a clown. 


The conservative movement, following precedents set by Rush Limbaugh, Ted Nugent, and Sarah Palin, decided he was clown enough to be considered one of their standard bearers. 


So when he spewed his hateful and uninformed bullshit in a magazine interview, and A and E did the same thing to him that MSNBC initially did to Nartin Bashir and Alec Baldwin, the conservatives blew their self-righteous gasket, and decided to make it a "first amendment" issue. 


It wasn't. And it isn't. Even clowns are subject to whims of their employers, if they wish to stay employed. They can't go into the boss's office, piss on his file cabinet, and expect the boss to laugh it off. 


So here's the deal...this guy wants to espouse exclusion and call it his spirituality, that's his shtick, his choice. Whatever gets one through life, I'm for it. And if he can parley it into a television career and make some coin on top of things, more power to him. I don't have to respect it or him, but I respect anyone's right to act like an ass and yammer like a fevered baboon all they want. God knows I've done enough of it, myself. Free country. And no one, left or right, has said otherwise. 


Hell, he may truly love others, no matter what their situation. I don't know what's in the man's heart. I sense he's probably more of a good guy than a huckster. I give him that benefit of the doubt. Most clowns are good people. 


But when the right-wing noise box decides to turn him into some sort of iconic figure, to say that he represents what is good and pure, and that anyone who disagrees, in any way at all, is deserving of social marginalization, at best, and eternal damnation, at worst, then it's time we all take a step back, look at things with reason, and say:


"Whoa...let's all calm down...it's only a clown". 

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